As soon as they left town, I convinced my wife to trespass so we could dip in that magical brook, but a week later we’d aged ten years, the neighbors had moved, and that stream had evaporated or disappeared.”Ĩ. “They thought it was the medication at first, but I knew deep down that the drugs were never to blame-that when I fall asleep, I become my true self. When she looked up, she coughed up the bright green and blue feathers that belonged to my pet parrot and I realized right then that she’d already eaten my fish, which had mysteriously gone missing one week prior.”Ħ. “After about eight years, I noticed that our neighbors weren’t aging, so I monitored them closely and saw that they drank straight from the spring in the back of their yard, where they also sometimes bathed. That’s when I finally opened my eyes and saw that I was lying in a coffin.”ĥ. “She was perfect, or so I thought until I caught her one night in the bathroom splashing water onto her face. I’ve groped countless innocent women, stolen hundreds of ashtrays, and attacked dozens of homeless people just to stay sane.”Ĥ. “The claustrophobia was unbearable but I knew that if I screamed, they’d say I was overreacting like always so I braced myself instead-until I couldn’t breathe.
3. “I want to be a decent person, I really do, but the voices make me do bad things and the only way to shut them up is to obey.
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